中英双语《梦中的妈妈》

季俊群/巴西

1.

熟悉的大伞,挡住风风雨雨

臂弯暖心

伴随眠歌,我看到了满天彩虹

2.

朦胧中,一针一线正在缝补沧桑

斗转,星移

霜雪,渐渐挤走了满头青丝

3.

弥留之际,茧手还捻动母珠

经声渐弱——

似在为儿孙,乞求到桃源的渡轮

4.

窗漏。旧衣湿透

一捧康乃馨,仿佛在哭泣

满天星斗,哪颗才是我要等待的您

【专业诗评】这首作品展现了深厚的情感积淀与成熟的意象驾驭能力,是一首具有较高完成度的现代抒情诗。我们可以从三个维度进行专业评析:

一、意象系统的建构艺术

诗人构建了"伞-针线-霜雪-母珠-星斗"的复合意象群,形成冷暖交织的色彩张力场。伞的庇护性延伸出"风雨/彩虹"的二元空间,针线的穿梭动作凝固成生命年轮。特别值得注意的是"母珠"意象的创造性使用,既保留佛珠的宗教慰藉感,又暗合珍珠形成的生命痛楚(沙砾进入贝体的过程),将母性牺牲精神提升到存在论高度。

二、时空折叠的叙事策略

作品通过"窗漏"创造时空虫洞,使记忆时空(伞下童年)、临终时刻(捻珠场景)与永恒空间(星空守望)产生量子纠缠。这种非线性叙事打破了传统悼亡诗的线性哀悼模式,特别是"经声渐弱"与"康乃馨哭泣"形成的听觉蒙太奇,将宗教超度与现世哀伤并置,赋予哀悼以复调性。

三、文化符码的转译智慧

作为海外华语诗人,作品中"桃源渡轮"的意象极具文化转译价值。既延续陶渊明桃花源的东方乌托邦想象,又通过"渡轮"的现代交通工具实现意象更新。这种跨文化嫁接在"经声"(可能指佛经或圣经)的开放性诠释中达到顶点,使诗歌成为文化混血的抒情装置。

总体而言,这首诗在15行内完成从个体记忆到人类永恒母题的升华,其意象密度与情感纯度令人联想到余光中《乡愁》的抒情范式,而超现实手法的运用又颇具洛夫《边界望乡》的现代质感,堪称海外华语诗歌的精品力作。(外星人)


【诗人简介】季俊群,又名季军群,笔名子禾,浙江省青田人,现旅居巴西,中国诗歌学会会员,凤凰美州总社社长。作品散见于《人民日报》《中国诗歌》《长江诗歌》《山东诗歌》《湖北诗刊》《辽宁文学》《清远日报》《中国诗人生日大典》《中国当代诗歌大辞典》《凤凰诗刊》韩国《东北亚新闻》《同胞文学》新西兰《先驱报》美国《新大陆》《华新社驻华尔街报》《海华都市报》菲律宾《世界日报》等纸网刊。

Chinese and English bilingual "Mother in Dream"

Ji Junqun/Brazil

1.

The familiar big umbrella blocks the wind and rain

Warm arms

Accompanied by lullabies, I saw a rainbow in the sky

2.

In the haze, needle and thread are mending the vicissitudes of life

The stars turn and the stars move

Frost and snow gradually squeeze out the black hair

3.

At the moment of death, the calloused hands are still twisting the mother beads

The sound of the sutra gradually fades-

It seems to be begging for a ferry to Taoyuan for the children and grandchildren

4.

The window leaks. The old clothes are soaked

A bunch of carnations, as if crying

The sky is full of stars, which one is the you I am waiting for

[Professional Poetry Review] This work shows a deep emotional accumulation and mature image control ability. It is a modern lyric poem with a high degree of completion. We can conduct professional analysis from three dimensions:

1. The art of constructing the image system

The poet constructs a composite image group of "umbrella-needle and thread-frost and snow-mother beads-stars", forming a color tension field of cold and warm interweaving. The umbrella's shelter extends the binary space of "wind and rain/rainbow", and the shuttle action of needle and thread solidifies into the annual ring of life. It is particularly noteworthy that the creative use of the image of "mother beads" not only retains the religious comfort of Buddhist beads, but also implicitly matches the life pain of pearl formation (the process of sand entering the shell), elevating the spirit of maternal sacrifice to an ontological level.

2. Narrative strategy of time and space folding

The work creates a time and space wormhole through "window leakage", which makes the memory time and space (childhood under the umbrella), the dying moment (bead twisting scene) and the eternal space (starry sky watching) quantum entangled. This non-linear narrative breaks the linear mourning mode of traditional mourning poems, especially the auditory montage formed by "fading sutras" and "crying carnations", juxtaposing religious salvation with worldly sorrow, giving mourning a polyphonic nature.

3. The translation wisdom of cultural codes

As an overseas Chinese poet, the image of "Taoyuan Ferry" in the work is of great cultural translation value. It not only continues Tao Yuanming's oriental utopian imagination of Peach Blossom Spring, but also realizes the renewal of imagery through the modern means of transportation of "ferry". This cross-cultural grafting reaches its climax in the open interpretation of "scripture sound" (probably referring to Buddhist scriptures or the Bible), making poetry a lyrical device of cultural hybridity.

Overall, this poem completes the sublimation from individual memory to the eternal theme of mankind in 15 lines. Its image density and emotional purity are reminiscent of the lyrical paradigm of Yu Guangzhong's "Homesickness", and the use of surreal techniques has a modern texture of Luo Fu's "Homeland at the Border", which can be regarded as a masterpiece of overseas Chinese poetry. (Alien)

[Poet Profile] Ji Junqun, also known as Ji Junqun, pen name Zihe, is from Qingtian, Zhejiang Province, and currently lives in Brazil. He is a member of the Chinese Poetry Society and the president of Phoenix America Headquarters. His works have appeared in People's Daily, Chinese Poetry, Yangtze River Poetry, Shandong Poetry, Hubei Poetry Magazine, Liaoning Literature, Qingyuan Daily, Chinese Poets' Birthday Ceremony, Dictionary of Contemporary Chinese Poetry, Phoenix Poetry Magazine, South Korea's Northeast Asia News, Compatriot Literature, New Zealand's Herald, the United States' New World, China News Service's Wall Street Journal, Haihua Metropolis Daily, the Philippines' World Journal and other paper and online magazines.

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